Here's to All the Good Men — Joy H Selak PhD

Our country is going through an awakening. Women have found their voices, and the courage to speak. Story by story, we are learning the indignities women have suffered at the hands of powerful men. Some of these events occurred decades ago but now, in this time, women can support one another in at last telling their truth. Like most women, I have my own stories, and appreciate that our voices are being heard and action is being taken.

However, as I play back my own history and the events that shaped me, I can’t help but remember all the Good Men. There were many, starting with my dad, and I want to honor them. When I said to my father, ‘I want dive off the 5 meter board’, or ‘I’d like to go to graduate school’, or ‘I’ve decided to become a stockbroker’, he cocked his head, got a spark in his eye and replied, “That sounds good, you can do that.” Every single time. There was no keeping me in my lane, or a warning my aspirations were not appropriate for a girl.

My male professors in college led me to doorways I did not know existed. I thought college was about taking classes, passing tests and then taking the next class. I had no idea there was so much more I could learn and become during those years. But they did and went out of their way to put me on a path and guide me through one door after another. They took the time and interest to say:

“I think with a little work, you could get this paper published in a journal.”

“This newsletter needs a new editor; shall I tell them you’re interested?”

“There’s a vacancy on this board, want to throw your hat into the ring?”

“I heard about a consulting opportunity; shall I recommend you for it?”

The best man of all came into my life after I became an investment advisor. We met through a colleague and soon knew we had a future together. He was first my sweetheart, then my boss, then my husband, my co-parent and during illness, my caregiver. Through it all he remained steadfastly supportive, fair, and trustworthy. I was never diminished or silenced or categorized. This still holds true today, 35 years later.

I think there are many women like me, with stories about men like these. And so, as we lift up our voices and let our stories be told, let’s don’t forget to raise a glass to All the Good Men.