California Girl
The recent death of the lead singer of the Beach Boys, Brian Wilson, brought back a flood of memories for me. When I was 18 and just finishing my senior year of high school in San Antonio, Texas, my father announced he got a new job, and we were moving to California. As a lifelong Texan, this was not good news for me, nor was it our first move. Only a year earlier, another job change resulted in the sale of our family home and a relocation to a nondescript apartment nearby. While my friends were waiting for their college admission letters, I was packing, unpacking and packing again. Once in California, we rented an apartment on the western edge of the San Fernando Valley. My father told me I was expected to add income to the household, so I applied for every job available at the nearby shopping mall and was hired by Montgomery Ward into their accounting department. Math had been my poorest and least favorite subject in high school, but I was relieved to get a job.
At first, I felt unmoored and directionless, but driving down the Pacific Coast Highway while listening to the Beach Boys on the radio began to lift the gloom. ‘I don’t have to be a Texas girl,’ I thought, ‘I can ditch the accent and become a California Girl.’ But just as I started dating a handsome young man who was introducing me to his version of sunny California, while taking a few arts classes at the community college, and had found I actually liked the purpose and predictability of accounting, Dad got another new job, this time in Arizona—a land with no beaches, just dirt and cactus and snakes. And the move came with the burden of waiting another year before I was eligible for affordable in-state tuition at the local college, Arizona State University. I spent that gap year as the receptionist for my dad’s boss, entered ASU majoring in education, not arts, and soon fell in love with learning. I stayed at ASU for 14 years, earning 4 degrees.
I learned a lot from this chaotic time. As a student and teacher at ASU, I became aware that community college is a good place to begin higher education; it is more affordable and often the teachers are more experienced. Taking a gap year before attending university can offer time to find direction and the determination to complete a degree. Having to earn money to support yourself as you grow can also deepen determination to focus, succeed, and get a good job in a well-paying career. And I gained valuable empathy as I realized I was not alone in my struggles, that many live their whole lives in chaos. For me, it was only brief.
Life is not a straight line, stuff happens, so learning to ride the waves can be valuable. My memories of my time in California remain special, the highways by the sea, the beaches, the canyon crossovers, the food, the weather. When I was 18, I was driving down the new 101 freeway on my way to Malibu, listening to the Beach Boys singing ‘California Girl’ on the radio. When I was 30, I chose to move back to California, met the love of my life and am living happily ever after.
Living a broader life in wider spaces is not misery, rather it is an expansive gift.